Hyper Guy

Dear Sawyer,

Fun: After you woke up and nursed this morning, we were playing in my bed. I was laying down and you were doing tummy time on top of me and smiling at the silly noises I was making.

Not Fun: You suddenly vomited twice while you were perched on top of me and covered my neck, chest and hair with spit-up. Uuuggghhhh.

In other news, you're becoming so curious and interested in the world around you. You're constantly watching Daddy, your siblings and me and whereas before you'd just sit in your floor chair as a silent observer, you now scoot your seat over to the nearest toy box or bookshelf to explore their contents. You love touching things and feeling new textures and reach out for whatever you can grab. And wow, you have a pretty strong grip!

You're also quite the hyper little guy now. You light up with delight when I hold you up over my head and make you "fly," jump so hard in your jumper that you often run out of breath and squawk so loudly and forcefully sometimes that your face turns red. Whoa, easy!

Love,
Mom

Solid Meal

Dear Sawyer,

After six months of a breastmilk-only diet, you finally had something different today and tried your very first bite of rice cereal. And you didn't like it! You made a "Ew, what is this?!" face when that first spoonful went into your mouth but then you gradually warmed up to it and finished the whole bowl. Hello solids!

You're definitely going to need more food now because you are growing so much and becoming more active with each passing day. You currently wear 9 months-sized clothing and are always moving something, whether you are banging your hand on your high chair tray, scratching the couch cushions (I think you really like the sound that makes), scratching your own head, waving your arm and smacking me in the face while you're nursing (yeah, could you stop that?) or jumping up and down really, really excitedly in your jumper. And you are so strong that when you are sitting in your floor chair, you push off with your legs and can move several feet across the floor all on your own (the first time, I wasn't in the room and yelled at GuhGaw for pushing you in your seat and he said you'd moved by yourself--and then I saw it for myself!). Goodbye days where you always stay where I leave you!

Love,
Mom

Six Months!

Dear Sawyer,

Has it really already been six months since you were born?? Happy half birthday, baby bear! You always brighten up my day with your sweet smiles, infectious belly laughs and all-around cuteness and I love you so very much. You are such a happy, good-natured baby and you always have a big smile for anyone who says hi to you. You are so content, whether you are swinging away in your swing, bouncing up and down in your jumper or just lolling around in your crib while listening to your music box. You enjoy chewing on your fingers (and whatever else you can get into your mouth), grabbing my or JieJie's long hair (we don't enjoy that so much, though), looking at books and playing with wind chimes, rattles and your toy laptop.

At six months, you are showing signs of being as active and energetic as GuhGaw (uh-oh!). You are always kicking your feet and when you're laying down, you wiggle around excitedly like a little worm. And just last Monday, you rolled over onto your belly by yourself for the very first time! At first, you grabbed the bars of your crib or pushed your feet against them for leverage when rolling over but now you can easily flop onto your belly on your own--and do so every time I put you in your crib. You like being on your stomach but there have been a few times when your arm got stuck under you and you started crying out in frustration when you couldn't pull it out. Oops!

Love,
Mom

Great Explorations

Dear Sawyer,

You are 5 months old now and transitioning from the passive observer stage to the grab and explore stage. You love grabbing onto and playing with your feet (happy baby yoga pose!) and really love exploring objects by putting them in your mouth. Ahhh, the latter is your germaphobe mama's favorite stage.

Love,
Mom

Squawk Talk

Dear Sawyer,

Your newest behaviors: sucking on your fingers so hard that it makes a loud, smacking noise; observing everything around you super intently, whether it is me drinking water or your siblings dancing; squawking loudly; smiling a lot whenever we play with squeaky toys.

Love,
Mom

Two Messes, One Mama

Dear Sawyer,

Tonight, you had a poop explosion that leaked down your leg about 30 seconds before JieJie had an accident and peed on the floor. Aaagh! Which kid to clean up first?!

Love,
Mom

Mama's Boy

Dear Sawyer,

When GuhGaw was 4 months old, I thought this age was so difficult because he needed to be nursed, changed and held all of the time. But now that I'm an "experienced" mom and you are 4 months old, I am loving this age! All you need is to be nursed, changed and held all of the time! I don't have to plan snacks or cook dinner for you because my boobs automatically make all of the food you need. I don't have to rush you to the bathroom or clean up pee accidents on the floor because you're not potty training yet. And who wouldn't love holding and cuddling with a sweet baby all day? It's definitely preferable to trying to get a stubborn toddler to brush her teeth or telling a kindergartener for the 100th time to stop goofing around and finish his homework.

You are such an adorable little guy and your smile warms my heart so much. I love that you smile and laugh all of the time and that you're really ticklish. I love the way you play with your fingers and how you always bite your bottom lip. It's so cute when you stick out your tongue and energetically kick your feet when you get excited. I'm impressed at how well you can grip things and that you can push yourself up to sit on your own (for a few seconds, anyway). And even though it makes things a little difficult for me, I do love that you have become super attached to me. Sometimes you want me and only me and even though Daddy or PoiPoi are holding you, you will cry and scream at the top of your lungs until I hold you. That means I can't always get a lot done and I can't go out without you for long periods of time, but it makes me feel so special when you are crying but immediately stop and start smiling as soon as you're in my arms.

Love,
Mom

Multitasking Mom

Dear Sawyer,

This afternoon, I was helping GuhGaw with his homework while coloring with JieJie at the same time I was nursing you. Not gonna lie, I felt a little bit like Supermom!

Love,
Mom

Just For Kicks

Dear Sawyer,

Your newest activity: waving your arms and kicking your feet a lot!

Love,
Mom

Always My Baby

Dear Sawyer,

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." - Robert Munsch

Love,
Mom

I'm Pooped

Dear Sawyer,

This morning, you pooped and it leaked out of your diaper and down your leg. This afternoon, your sister fell asleep in her stroller and had a poop accident so big, I had to throw away the shorts she was wearing and the pad she was sitting on. This evening, your brother jumped off of the toilet and some poop fell out of his butt and onto the floor.

Oh, the joys of motherhood.

Love,
Mom

Sleepless Morning

Dear Sawyer,

This is how this morning went:

2am: GuhGaw came into my room, woke me up and told me he had to pee, so I took him to the bathroom. Then I went back to sleep.

4am: I woke up and pumped breastmilk.

5am: I went back to bed but then JieJie woke up crying from a bad dream. I comforted her and told her to go back to sleep.

5:30am: You woke up, so I nursed you and went back to bed.

6am: Daddy's alarm went off and woke me up.

6:30am: Daddy accidentally set off the house alarm when he opened the front door. You, JieJie and GuhGaw miraculously didn't wake up but I did.

7am: I had to get up and wake GuhGaw up and get him ready for school.

Oh. My. GOD.

Love,
Mom

Growing Baby

Dear Sawyer,

You are doing so much growing! You have moved up to 6 months-sized clothing and size 2 diapers and you no longer fit in your bassinet (*sniff*), which I keep next to my bed, so last night, you slept in your crib in your own room by yourself for the very first time.

At 3 months old, you are a super happy baby--you smile every time I look at you and laugh a lot. You also babble very loudly when I talk to you, you get scared when I'm carrying you down the stairs (your whole body tenses and you clench your fists), you love to suck your fingers and you usually sleep from 9pm to about 5am, which I love!

Love,
Mom

Party Nap

Dear Sawyer,

GuhGaw had his birthday at an amusement park today, a typical noisy place filled with rumbling roller coasters, pumping music and hundreds of loud, boisterous kids. But you would have thought we were in the middle of a quiet, deserted library instead because you slept so soundly in your car seat during the entire three-hour party. You were awake when we were walking through the parking lot to get to the party but fell asleep shortly after that and did not wake up until we were in the car on our way back home after the party (you didn't even stir when I poked you every so often during the party to make sure you were still breathing).

I can't believe you slept through all of that noise! When we're at home, I'm constantly shushing your siblings and trying to make it as noiseless as possible so that you can rest, but you never take three-hour naps at home even when it is quiet, so I clearly I need to be blasting the club music instead!

Love,
Mom

First Laugh

Dear Sawyer,

Things you do not love:

-Being left alone
-Drinking from a bottle (nope, you want your milk straight from the source!)

Things you do love:

-Being carried in a baby carrier (you're always so comfy, you fall asleep right away)
-Snoopy (there is baby Snoopy wallpaper above your changing table and every time you look at it, you smile)
-When PoiPoi shouted, "Ai yah!" She was playing with you today and when she shouted "ai yah," you laughed for the first time!

Love,
Mom

Two Months!

Dear Sawyer,

You're two months old! Now that you're a little bigger and doing more than just eating, sleeping, peeing and pooping on a continuous loop, things are a lot more fun. The best part is that you have started smiling a lot, especially when I tickle you under your chin. And you're making concerted efforts to communicate with me, what with the adorable "uunh" and "agoo" sounds you emit. Also awesome is that you are sleeping for five to seven hours at night, so Mommy is feeling a lot more rested!

You are currently wearing size 3 months clothing and size 1 diapers and are so big that JieJie can only hold you on her lap for a little while before she says, "Oh, too heavy. Take off please!" You also have big-sized burps after I nurse you (wow, some of them are loud!) and big cries--when you are really upset, you cry so passionately that your whole head breaks out into a huge sweat!

Another really big thing? How much I have totally fallen in love with you these past couple months!

Love,
Mom

Newborn Nails

Dear Sawyer,

I clipped GuhGaw's teeny tiny fingernails when he was a newborn and I clipped JieJie's teeny tiny fingernails when she was a newborn, but that didn't make clipping your teeny tiny fingernails today for the first time any less nerve-wracking. I forgot how scared I get of cutting a newborn's finger by accident and how, with each clip, I hold my breath as if trying to diffuse a bomb. Eeesh.

Love,
Mom

One Month Old!

Dear Sawyer,

You are 1 month old today! Wait, what? How did four weeks go by already?

The past 30 days have been a blur of sometimes-painful nursing (you don't even have any teeth but geez, do you clamp down hard with your gums!), nervous diaper changes (you've only peed on me maybe two times but GuhGaw peed on me all the time during diaper changes when he was a newborn and I guess he traumatized me for life), fun baths (you seem to really enjoy bath time now), impressive tummy times (you can hold your head up so high and for a good length of time), fascinating Baby TV (I especially like to watch you while you're sleeping because you often smile in your sleep and it is so cute!) and thankfully not that much sleep deprivation (I'm not getting 8 hours of sleep or anything but you do sleep for 4- to 5-hour stretches most nights, which I'll take!).

And of course, there has been lots and lots of cuddling! Even when it's the end of the day and I'm physically and mentally exhausted and you're asleep in my arms and I should put you in your bassinet so that I can go to bed, I somehow find the energy to stay awake and hold you just a little longer. Because after all, you're only going to be this small for so long.

Love,
Mom

Baby Trifecta

Dear Sawyer,

You pooped and while I was changing your diaper, I accidentally got a little poop on my hand. And then you peed on my hand. And when I finally cleaned you (and my hand) up, I picked you up and you spit up on me. All right--what else ya got?? :-P

Love,
Mom

Nap Time

Dear Sawyer,

You, Connor, Lila--all three of you are currently napping at the same time! All three of you are currently napping at the same time!!

Love,
Mom

A Trio of Accidents

Dear Sawyer,

So today, GuhGaw woke me up at 5:30 in the morning to tell me that he had wet his bed, JieJie had an accident in her underwear and peed on the floor and your diaper leaked while I was nursing you and your pee spilled out all over my stomach. So this is life with three kids under the age of five! Oye.

Love,
Mom

Ladybug Fever

Dear Sawyer,

Today, you were wearing JieJie's ladybug onesie (yes, I dress you in your sister's hand-me-downs--they're in such good condition!), a real live ladybug found its way inside our house and was crawling on my bedroom ceiling and GuhGaw brought home a ladybug art project he made in school. What a weird coincidence!

Love,
Mom

First Week

Dear Sawyer,

You're already one week old! And whew, these past seven days have been a little rough. You slept really well during your first night in this world but then after that, you wanted to nurse and be held constantly. And you couldn't be held by just anyone--you only stopped crying when I held you, so I didn't get any sleep those first few nights. PoiPoi even tried to trick you into thinking I was holding you by putting on some of my lotion but it only worked twice before you caught on!

It's okay, I know you have a lot to get used to. And you did start sleeping for longer stretches this past Saturday because my breast milk finally came in and you now have more to eat. I am so tired but you are so adorable, so if I have to be up all night, at least I get to be up all night with a cutie like you! You open your eyes a lot and alertly look around a lot, especially at night after you've had a bath. You often purse your lips when you're sleeping, you like to cover your face while you're nursing, your neck muscles are already pretty strong and you hate clothing and diaper changes but you seem to like the sound of JieJie's voice and always turn toward your sister when you hear her talking. Your favorite sleeping position is when you're lying on my chest on your side while curled up in the fetal position--and I could hold you like that all day!

Love,
Mom

Sleeping Baby

Dear Sawyer,

I forgot just how wonderful it feels to hold a sleeping newborn baby on my chest. To feel you nuzzle your soft baby cheeks against me, to hear you breathing your tiny baby breaths, to look down and smell your delicious baby smell. I think the world would be a much better, happier place if everyone could hold a sleeping newborn baby on their chest before they went out in the morning!

Love,
Mom

Nice To Meet You!

Dear Sawyer,

Hi there! It is so nice to meet you! After living in my belly for 36 weeks and 5 days, you decided to make your entrance into this world on June 1 at 10:44pm. You were three weeks ahead of schedule but are perfectly healthy and--at 7 pounds, 11.6 ounces and 20 inches long--as big as some full-term babies!

So my pregnancy with you was not the easiest. Around 26 weeks, I started having occasional contractions and had to go on modified bed rest, which meant that I couldn't take walks, do any heavy lifting or even stand on my feet for too long, which was hard to do since I had to take care of your older brother and sister. At 34 weeks, I was already dilated 6cm and had to be hospitalized for 11 days (more on that in a later post). The doctors and nurses thought you were going to be born at 34 weeks but thankfully, you waited a few more weeks until you were bigger and stronger. And when you finally were born, it happened fast! On Monday around 8:30pm, I suddenly started having painful contractions several minutes apart. I called Daddy at work and told him to come home right away to take me to the hospital while PoiPoi stayed home with GuhGaw and JieJie.

Since I'd already been 6cm dilated for weeks, there was a chance that if my water broke, you'd be born immediately. Luckily, my water didn't break en route to the hospital and I didn't have to have you on my kitchen floor or inside the Midtown Tunnel! There wasn't much traffic on the highway and Daddy and I arrived at the hospital around 10pm. I was immediately wheeled up to Labor & Delivery and when my doctor examined me, I was already fully dilated. There wasn't any time for me to get any drugs, so for the second time in my life, I went through the excruciating physical anguish that is childbirth sans any painkillers (I didn't have time to get any drugs when your sister was born, either). Yep, your mom is hard. CORE!

Since you were on the big side, I had to push a lot harder than I did with your siblings and for what felt like a longer period of time (though in reality, it was only maybe half an hour). But finally, you crowned and I could see the top of your head--which was covered with lots of black hair--in the mirror the nurse had placed near the foot of the bed. Daddy, as he had done with GuhGaw and JieJie, had consciously avoided looking "down there" and was therefore completely surprised when you came out and my doctor suddenly plopped you on top of my chest! (Disconcerting side note: The umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck when you came out but not tightly, so you were okay.) You were so warm and sticky and tiny and beautiful and I immediately fell in love with you as soon as I held you in my arms!

The nurse cleaned you up and when she handed you back to me, your right eye was already open and looking directly at me! We were eventually moved to a room in the maternity ward and even though I think it was around 2am by then, I didn't sleep--you may be my third baby but I marveled at you as if you were my first. Your cute button nose, your itty, bitty fingers, the adorable gurgly baby noises you made, the way you kept moving your mouth as if you were chewing gum, the fact that you'd opened both eyes for the first time on Tuesday morning and looked at me--I couldn't get enough!

I am so happy you are finally here and look forward to a lifetime of being your mama.

Love,
Mom