Delayed Response

Dear Sawyer,

We were walking home together last week when you said, "Mama, wait, I have something in my shoe." I made a joke and said, "Your foot." You didn't get it, though, and said, "No my shoe. I have something in my shoe." I repeated, "Your foot." You replied, "No, I have something in my sh--oh!" And then you laughed.

Another time, I told you and MuiMui that I was going to Manhattan the next day. MuiMui said, "Buy me something that I love!" I joked, "But I'm not going to be on sale." There was silence for about 30 seconds and then the two of you started laughing at the same time.

Hahaha! Love  the delayed reactions!

Love,

Mom

Happy Hug

Dear Sawyer,

I went into your room earlier today and noticed that you have a pile of about a dozen used Q-tips on your dresser. As MuiMui used to say when she was younger: ew, yuck! The bathroom trash can is two feet away from your room--apparently walking over to it and throwing away the Q-tips is too taxing? Or perhaps you are conducting a science experiment with old earwax? #gross

On a less disgusting note, your winter concert was yesterday and your class did such a great job! You sang "Downtown" and "New York State of Mind" and despite them being "older" songs, you really liked singing them. I am grateful that I always have the time to come and see your performances, especially when I see how happy you are that I am there. When the parents were lining up to enter the auditorium, your class walked by and you waved excitedly to me when you saw me. Once we were all seated in the auditorium, you kept turning around in your seat to smile and wave to me. After the show, your class was lined up near the school entrance as I was leaving. When you saw me, you smiled and waved and then got out of line and ran over to me to hug me. You hugged me for awhile, too, and didn't care that your whole class was watching us. Thank you for loving me so much, baby bear!

Love,

Mom

Artistic Endeavors

Dear Sawyer,

Last week, your class went on a field trip the The Metropolitan Museum of Art and I got to tag along as a chaperone. You were so excited when I told you that your teacher had picked me to be one of the chaperones and you said that on the morning of, when your teacher asked the kids whose parents were coming, "Who wants to sit with their parent on the bus?," you immediately shot your hand up in the air while the other kids didn't until they realized you were raising your hand and then raised their hands, too. (Hahaha, we won't tell their parents!) That gesture alone meant a lot to me, that you are still so excited to be with me, but the sweetness continued after we arrived at the museum. As we walked through the American Wing and listened to the docent talk about different pieces, you happily held my hand and often hugged me. There was none of that cool-boy-machismo you sometimes see in 9-year-old boys; you weren't shy or self-conscious at all about hanging out with your mom. You seemed to be so happy that I was there and that made me feel so so special.

I also felt very proud of you and your classmates that morning. All the kids in our group were so attentive and well-behaved, listening to the docent and asking thoughtful questions. You personally really looked at each piece of artwork and made insightful observations about each one. And we even stopped to talk about one painting called "The Wood Sawyer," which you obviously felt a connection to! At the end of the visit, the docent came up to me and said, "These kids are amazing! No, really! They are amazing! They are so engaged and interested. We get a lot of school groups in here and some kids really don't pay any attention." How awesome are you guys?!

Also awesome is that you got to go sledding this weekend! We don't get much snow anymore (hello, climate change) and the one time we got significant snow last winter, you were sick and couldn't go sledding with your siblings. We got a few inches this past Saturday night and Daddy woke you up early at 6am so that you guys could go sledding in the park all by yourself! As it gets later on snow days, the big hilly park near our house gets overcrowded with sledders (JieJie was in a pretty bad crash with another sledder a couple years ago), so it was really cool for you to get the whole park to yourself. And you had a blast! Daddy also took you out for pancakes afterward, which made the morning even better. I'm so glad you had fun! And I was also super touched when you came in that morning to say goodbye to me. As it was so early on a weekend, I was still in bed when you came in. You thought I was sleeping and turned around to leave. When I opened my eyes, I saw you tiptoeing out slowly with your legs far apart--you were wearing your snow pants and didn't want the noisy swish-swish-swish of the pants to wake me up. Thank you, baby bear, for always being so thoughtful and sweet! I love you so much!

Love,

Mom

Son Jokes

Dear Sawyer,

You told me two jokes recently:

-What is a fly without wings? A walk!

-I have to tell you two jokes and a long joke. Ready? Joke, joke, joooooooooooke.

Look at you and your dad joke skills! Hahaha!

Love,

Mom

A Perfect Ten

Dear Sawyer,

We were all hanging out in the living room last night and JieJie mentioned that she is turning 13 this year, an official teenager. Then you said that you are turning 10 this year and I don't know why, but that hit me so hard and I got so emotional at the thought that you are going to be 10 that I immediately started crying. Obviously, I know that you are currently 9 years old and that 10 comes after 9, but I guess hearing you say that you will be a whole decade old out loud really struck those emotional heartstrings. It goes by so fast.

When I started crying, you, JieJie and MuiMui all gathered around me and hugged me. MuiMui was confused, though, and asked, "Why are you crying, Mama? Why is it sad that Sawyer is turning 10?" It was all so funny and bittersweet and heartwarming at the same time and I remember thinking, "This. This kind of moment is why I had kids."

Thanks for the moment, Baby Bear. And I guess we better start planning your big 10th birthday bash!

Love,

Mom

Just Keep Swimming

Dear Sawyer,

We went to the Bahamas over winter break (and man, I wish we were back there now because it's currently 25 degrees in New York) and you had so much fun playing in the pool every day. You were the first one in every morning and even when the sun was setting, the wind was picking up and the rest of our family had already gotten out because our lips had turned blue, you happily stayed in the pool until the lifeguards announced that it was closing for the day. You really love being in the water, which makes me so happy because you were scared of it for so long.

When you were 6 years old, our family was vacationing in the Hamptons and we were all in the hotel pool. Daddy was watching MuiMui in the shallow end, I was swimming with GuhGaw in the deep end and JieJie was hanging out in the middle with you. You'd been wearing a life jacket but you had taken it off when we ate lunch and hadn't put it back on afterward. This is the part I'm not proud of: Neither Daddy or I were watching you because you'd been holding onto the edge of the pool in the shallow end the whole time and we thought you were safe. I guess you had started feeling brave, though, and inched your way closer to the deep end. You went too far, lost your footing and slipped under the water. Thankfully thankfully thankfully, JieJie saw you and was able to get to you and pull you up, but you'd swallowed a ton of water. You got out of the pool and threw up a lot.

I'm still so angry at myself for not watching you when I should have been and I'm so unbelievably grateful that you were okay--at least physically. Understandably, you were nervous around water for a long time after that incident. You went into pools at camp and other vacations, but you stayed in the shallow end and did not want to put your face in the water. At the beach, you always stayed far away from the shoreline, out of fear that a strong wave would suddenly pull you into the ocean.

Some traumas stay with you but I am so happy that this one seems to have loosened its grip on you. Over the years, I've watched as you've bravely walked further and further into the ocean and splashed happily in pools whenever you have the chance. You no longer feel the need to stay at the edge of a pool and you willingly walk into the deeper sections (and Daddy and I now always watch all of you kids like hawks).

Over the past three summers, you had daily instructional swim at your camp, but you didn't really advance much. So imagine my surprise when we were in the Bahamas and I was watching you play in the pool and you just started swimming! I'd never even see you float in the water but all of a sudden, you were not only floating but actually swimming from one section to the next! Daddy and I both watched in amazement and I felt so proud of you! You overcame your fear and learned how to swim! You are so awesome!

Love,

Mom